Double 700C and Tonic

Just before Christmas, I found myself joining the staff of a bike shop for a Christmas night out. We started in a pub before moving on to a Chinese restaurant.

Early in the evening, the boss returned from the bar with a substantial round of drinks, and we started discussing the considerable mark-up placed on drinks by the licensed trade.


Later in the night, we somehow got onto the subject of how we could hardly judge - seeing bike shops have their own equivalent profit-maker: inner tubes.

Drinks.
Inner Tubes.

Hmmm.

What followed was a boozy conversation which, though it seemed like a good idea at the time, is admittedly one of the geekiest in which I have ever played an active part. For some reason that I can't explain, it seemed a natural process to find an appropriate drink to match each of the inner tubes for sale in a bike shop.

I present below our reasoned findings, transcribed from the paper napkin upon which they were noted. Make of them what you will.

Inner Tube	Drink
700 x 38C Schraeder	White Wine
700 x 35C Presta	Real Ale
20 x 2 Schraeder	Vodka Red Bull
700 x 21C Presta	Mineral Water
27 x 1 3/8 Tubular	Red Wine
26 x 2 Schraeder	Carling
26 x 2 Presta	Becks
20 x 1 3/8 Schraeder	Vodka and Tonic
16 x 1 3/8 Schraeder	Tanqueray Gin and Tonic
29 x 2.2 Presta	Single Malt Whisky
700C Cyclocross Tubular	Sloe Gin
24 x 2.5 Schraeder	Strongbow Cider
26 x 3 Schraeder	Stella Artois Lager